📺 SPECIAL REPORT: SevenSteves COOL 95 is taking over corporate desktops everywhere — call now for bonus floppy set & FREE AOL minutes!
SevenSteves COOL 95 - Infomercial Edition
As Seen on Late-Night TV

Welcome to COOL 95

Revolutionize your workflow with the only software suite broadcast in glorious 640x480. SevenSteves COOL 95 delivers synergy, dial-up ready collaboration, and premium clipart in one legendary bundle.

📞 Call 1-800-7-STEVES 📠 Fax/Email Order Form

Windows 95 Inspired

Innovation Meter
What You Get
  • ✔️ 32-bit synergy launcher with Start button inspiration
  • ✔️ Retro taskbars for your modern KPIs
  • ✔️ Built-in dial-up tone generator for authenticity
  • ✔️ Bonus pack of 256 high-fidelity clipart icons
  • ✔️ Pop-up reminders in pure 95 blue gradient
  • ✔️ Infomercial-friendly wizard with giant Next buttons
LIMITED TIME: Order in the next 15 minutes to receive the “Office Park Screensaver” deluxe edition!

Operators are standing by to guide you through installation. No credit card? No problem. We accept checks, money orders, and sincere enthusiasm.

Testimonials & Specs

Happy Callers Say:

  • “It feels like I’m on a live infomercial every day.” — Regional VP
  • “Finally, software that matches my denim shirt.” — IT Manager
  • “The Start button alone paid for itself.” — Accountant

System Requirements

  • Windows 95 or modern browser with nostalgia support
  • 16 MB RAM (32 MB for deluxe infomercial overlays)
  • At least one beige desktop tower nearby
  • Speakers capable of playing triumphant MIDI fanfare
Order Channel

Pick your channel and get onboard. Every order ships with a commemorative SevenSteves mousepad and a glossy brochure folded by hand.

☎️ Call 1-800-7-STEVES ✉️ Email orders@sevensteves.com
Ready